once upon a time...

...we didn't have the technology to communicate and connect with others like we do now.  if you're my age you probably think about that now and then.  if you're younger probably not so much.  i remember still the days when you not only took the time, but had the time to sit down and write a lengthy letter to a friend or relative.  today we text or call or message via facebook, etc.  we know what our friends are eating, drinking, doing, did, where they're at, going to or have been, what they bought, how they feel on a moment to moment basis, what games they play and the list goes on.  it seems we simply can't be without our cell phones and our aps.

i'll say this, i am grateful for the ability to communicate easily with my family and friends at any given time, yes.  and oh how i love the internet for searching out information, whether it's researching a particular subject or looking for a new recipe.

now i sometimes hardly believe in the concept of good vs. bad in some of cases.  technology is one of them.  it's what you make it.  it has such great benefit in our lives.  at times.  the point i'm trying to make here is that we all complain at one time or another about how busy and stressful our lives are.  yet we can't seem to put our phones or computers aside long enough to give ourselves a break.  just look around at what's happening.  i watch children walking home from school every day.  are they talking or laughing amongst themselves?  rarely.  they're all too busy with their attention on the phones in their hands. adults?  the same.  if they're jogging or walking they have their earbuds in or are busy looking at their phones.  i can't tell you how many times i have had pedestrians walk out in front of my car because their mind was on their phone, not on their surroundings.  (i promise i won't even get into drivers on phones.)

and, what's really oxymoronic is that while we're in constant communication with others we've forgotten how to actually be social in our immediate surroundings.  i'm sure i'm not the only one who has had friends over and had the time together interrupted repeatedly by someone's cell phone.  well, (sigh) there goes any chance of a deep or meaningful conversation.  we just don't often seem to get far enough in face to face communication to actually get to the heart of a matter before we need to answer a call or a text, or wait until after our friend does.  as technology has enabled us to broaden our social network we have actually become less and less capable or willing to participate in face to face communication.  i think that is a very sad thing.

do you know how to simply sit with yourself?  do you take time to listen to you?  can we stop scrolling or texting long enough to really connect to each other and ourselves?  commit to it!  yep, that's right.  why not commit to a routine of turning off your device for an decent amount of time each day?  spend some time getting to know yourself.  take a walk, sit in the park, be creative, meditate.  or meet a friend for coffee and actually spend that time with them, really talk, make eye contact, phone turned off and in your purse or pocket.  don't you even look at it.  better yet, be brave enough to leave it at home if you're not going far.  just think, in the days before cell phone we had no choice.  seriously, it's not such a big deal.

my point is this.  we clutter our lives every day with so much that's not only unnecessary but actually takes away from our peace of mind and quality of life.  all this unnecessary information and time spent sharing needless data adds to our mental overload and takes away from our being present enough to enjoy life in the moment.  too much input, too little time, freedom and actual awareness of the moment=STRESS.  i don't know about you, but daily events are often stressful enough without my adding to it needlessly.  turn your phone or tv or computer OFF.  relish some down time. find out what your breathing sounds like, hear the sounds of nature, smell the air, feel the creative experience, experience what's real; the life and beauty within and around us. it's what helps us recharge and be better able to deal with all the other commotion our day may present.   get yourself some peace!  it's available if you want it.  and it's free!

just a few ideas on real socializing

• designate a technology free day for yourself.  you'll be amazed at what you can accomplish.
• or if that sounds like too much to handle, begin with a technology free hour each day.
• if a group is going out to dinner, have everyone put their cell phones in a pile in the center of the table with the agreement that whoever reaches for their phone before actually leaving has to foot the bill.  
• actually have sit down dinners at home with the family.  all phones off and away from the table.  take this time to really communicate, listen and reconnect face to face.  if you can't do it every day, try to at least once or twice a week. 
• have a family game night.  no tv, no phones, no computers, no playstation.  how about a card game, a board game or some story telling?  or even a popcorn fight!  :)  
• get together with friends.  take turns hosting get togethers (dinner, picnic, potluck, game night for example).  no phones allowed!  

reflecting back with gratitude

Life has had it's hard moments, this past year especially. Family dynamics have changed somewhat as one realizes they cannot live their life for anyone but themselves regardless of how that makes others feel. We all survive and go one and adjust. It's what we do and have been doing for centuries.

It's been the most unusual year and the most surreal one of my life, not to mention the hardest. The shock of Coop's death and the loss I felt afterwards are indescribable. The death of my mom, dad, sister or brother cannot even come close to what it felt like to lose Coop. No one can truly understand that unless they have lived with and loved someone for that long and realize who they are as an individual is completely wrapped up in that other person...and then in an instant that person is gone, unexpectedly, forever and forever life is changed. Life becomes alien, unfamiliar and everything you do is now surreal because that other person isn't there...when you drive in the car or shop for groceries or come home or fix dinner or go to bed or get up in the morning. Every action, every though hurts because it is a moment to moment reminder of how life has been altered...premanently.

But then, slowly you begin to adjust and have good days in between when tears don't come as often. And you realize that you have a huge place in your heart, as if the love you have known has expanded your heart, opened it to the possibility of experiencing joy and love again, that feeling love for another does not take anything away from the love you have known nor decrease it in any way. Love knows no limits or boundries and loving one does not take away love or limit love for another. Anyone who has children understands this quite well.

I am just thankful for the love I have been given in my life from my family and friends...most especially from my children, their spouses, my sister and and from Coop and Mark. I wonder at times what I might have done to deserve the love of so many and the two wonderful men I have been priveledged to love and be loved by, but then life is strange that way. I don't think it's a matter of deserving really, but more a matter of allowing.

I am grateful for all the goodness and love in my life despite the dark days of the past year. I recall even then, being so very grateful for all the people and blessings in my life as I went through that period. I continue to feel gratitude for each day that I am given to be here, alive on this earth to experience all those things that make us human.

a grand week

With the exception of a welcome rain the other day, the past week has been utterly beautiful with mild temps and killer blue sky days. Unseasonably cool for August but how nice to be canning in 70 something degree weather as opposed to 90 something.

I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday week with the weather, the cards, the gifts and just plain enjoyable moments. On Tuesday my twin sister came out to spend a day with me. We share the same birthday ya know (grin) and although Wed.was it, Tues. worked out perfectly for us to hang together all day without anyone else. Coop was busy helping my niece’s hubby build his shed, neither one of us twins had any other serious responsibilities, so a real day of girl fun and bonding with my twin took place. It’s been awhile since that has happened! And ya know what we did? We laughed, we talked, we spent time outdoors, even sat crocheting together on the patio. I had made homemade, homegrown spaghetti sauce for a dinner of organic whole wheat pasta and homegrown snow peas. Sue got the urge to make bread, so that she did so at the end of the day we enjoyed a fantastic meal together full of nutrition and good vibes. What more could you want? She also gifted me with a beautiful crystal, a couple of new CDs and a most beautiful and cozy afghan…in PINK! Gosh, what a generous gal she is! I have listened to the Jakob Dylan CD she gave me over and over, it’s that good. I would love to show you a picture of me curled up in my new pink afghan but I accidentally deleted all the photos I just uploaded to picassa. And of course I deleted them from my memory card already, too. Damn! That’s twice I’ve done that! Anyhow trust me; the afghan is big and beautiful. I love it!

My neighbor showed up the Mon. with a pretty card and gift, some new kitchen towels (pink of course) and a pink can opener to go in my pink kitchen. Cards arrived in the mail from sister in laws, my son and his wife and another from the grandboys. My girlfriend Vicki sent me a book I had wanted (A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle) and two cards! She liked them both so she sent me two, lol. You have to know Vicki, she is one in a million and quirky that way…it’s one of the many things I love about her. On wed. my wonderful kids called to wish their mom a happy birthday, then on Thurs. my dear, sweet niece came over with a card and a plate full of homemade macaroons (she knows I LOVE coconut) plus the promise of a soon to arrive book I have been coveting on Amazon. I am one lucky girl! Ok, woman. But I gotta tell ya that even at fifty three I still have the heart and mind of a girl at times. Now if my body would just keep up!

All in all a grand week has left me with a full heart and a heightened appreciation for all the people and goodness in my life. And although greatly appreciated, it is not the gifts or cards given that mean so much but the spirit of love and connection I share with these special people in my life.